Hell In Your Eyes
by Golden-Lights
Summary: AU Season 2- Buffy goes after Angelus instead of Giles after finding Ms. Calendar Dead New Chap
1. Hell In Your Eyes

Title: Hell In Your Eyes  
  
Author: Ash S.   
  
Rating: R- Language, Sex, and Death..the fun  
  
Summary/Spoilers: Season 2, takes place after 'Passion'. What if it was Buffy to go after Angelus after he killed Ms. Calendar and not Giles?  
  
Distribution: If anyone wants it, just ask   
  
Disclaimer: Don't own them..how sad.  
  
Author's Notes: Lyrics are from the 'Queen of the Damned' soundtrack and the song is 'Slept So Long' by Jay Gordan of Orgy.   
  
Feedback: Would be nice....but flames will be used to roast-marshmallows :)  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Walking....waiting   
  
Alone without a care   
  
Hoping and hating   
  
The things that I can't bear   
  
Did you think it's cool to walk right up   
  
To take my life and fuck it up?   
  
Well did you?\line Well did you?  
  
I stare at him across the crosswalk. The flames below are rising higher and I can fell them tickle my flesh. He stares at me with such hatred and I know that my eyes reflect the same thing. *HE'S GONE!* My head screams at me while my heart refuses to listen. How can he be gone when he is standing right in front of me? It's a redundant question I know but I still don't want to listen to my head. I throw down the metal bar I grabbed and I see shock register in his eyes for a brief moment.  
  
"No more left in ya, Buff?" He ask's and does his trademark smirk at me. I feel my heart tug briefly.  
  
"No more games." I say quietly. He stares at me for a moment, trying to figure out if this is some type of trick.  
  
"Want to plead for your life?" He starts to walk slowly toward me and it takes most of my own will power not to move. I stand there rigid and stare straight ahead.  
  
I see hell in your eyes   
  
And taken in by surprise   
  
And touching you makes me feel alive   
  
Touching you makes me die inside  
  
"You can you know." He whispers next to my ear. I wonder how he got behind me so fast. I gasp as his arms circle around my waist. "Of course you can let me turn you." He leans down and his blunt teeth graze my neck and I resist the urge to gasp again.  
  
"I'd rather die." I amaze myself by keeping my voice straight and not letting him know how he is affecting me. It would be so easy to lay down the stake and join the other side. I've thought it about it for so long. Of course my nightmare was to become a vampire but lately that was also my version of heaven. I would be with him. Forever.  
  
As if he sensed my change in thought, he slowly turned me around so that I faced him. "Are you so sure?"   
  
I slowly raised my eyes to meet his. His face was actually expressionless for once. No hard stare....no evil smirk...just completely blank with a touch of confusion. As if he couldn't figure out why I wanted to be dead. I knew why of course...considering I was the one that was thinking it. If I truly gave myself up to the darkness, what would happen to my friends? As a team, he and I would kill everyone and dance on their graves. And what would happen if he got his soul back? I'd probably leave or kill him in a heartbeat. If I was given the choice, then I would want to be dead.  
  
Walking...waiting   
  
Alone without a care   
  
Hoping and hating   
  
The things that I can't bear   
  
Did you think it's cool to walk right up   
  
To take my life and fuck it up?   
  
Well did you?\line Well did you?  
  
I hate you  
  
My back hits a wall and I realized that he had been slowly backing us up. There was a gleam in his eyes but this time it had nothing to do with killing me.   
  
"There could be so much between us." He says softly as his hands play with the hem of my skirt. He nudges my legs apart until he his standing between him and there is nothing that keeps are bodies from pressing against each other.  
  
I gasp this time when I feel how hard he his against my stomach. His hands slide up under my skirt hand he smiles when he feels that I'm not wearing anything underneath it. It wasn't intentionally done; I had just dressed in a hurry, not really thinking about what I was wearing.  
  
I see hell in your eyes   
  
And taken in by surprise   
  
And touching you makes me feel alive  
  
Touching you makes me die inside  
  
One leg found it's way around his hip and I arched up against his hand. I kept telling myself that I didn't want this but I did. I craved darkness and knew he could give it to me.  
  
The sound of his zipper echo\rquote s in my ears. He lifts me up before impaling me down on him. This time he is the one to gasp. "You know I lied to you about how bad of a lay you were." He says almost conversationally.  
  
I grip his shoulders hard and groan at the sensations he was causing me. "Really?" I manage to gasp as he hits a sensitive spot.  
  
I slept so long without you   
  
It's tearing me apart too   
  
How did I get this far  
  
Playing games with this old heart   
  
I killed a million fancy selves  
  
But I couldn't kill you  
  
I slept so long without you   
  
"You were a great lay. So tight, so hot, so perfect...so...virginal." Tiring of the slow pace he had set, he roughly pounds me against the wall. Soon we were both lost in each other that we didn't notice the flames that had now consumed the other end of the crosswalk. We were probably going to be burned alive.  
  
I babbled his name incoherently as he continued his ruthless assault on me. Before I knew what was happening, my neck was bared and he lunged for it. I gasped as I felt his sharp canines enter my throat as he continued to thrust into me. I felt my life draining away slowly and still I moved against him.  
  
(Touching you makes me die inside)  
  
I see hell in your eyes  
  
(Touching you makes me die inside)  
  
And taken in by surprise  
  
(Touching you makes me die inside)   
  
And touching you makes me feel alive   
  
(Touching you makes me die inside)   
  
And touching you makes me die inside  
  
We slowly slid down the floor with him still inside me. I could feel him licking at the wounds he caused. My heartbeat had slowed and I knew that I would die very soon.  
  
"You will be mine. For eternity. You're friends will die and you and I will still be here." He sliced his wrist open and leaned forward to put it against my mouth.  
  
"Never." I used what strength I had and pushed a broken piece of wood into his chest. I watched his _expression turn from hatred to shock. I watched as he slowly turned to dust. And I watched as his ring clattered to the ground in front of me. Biting my lip, I picked up the ring and slid it over my own finger that had the duplicate of his ring.  
  
I see hell in your eyes\line   
  
(Touching you makes me die inside)   
  
And taken in by surprise\line   
  
(Touching you makes me die inside)  
  
And touching you makes me feel alive   
  
(Touching you makes me die inside)  
  
  
  
Once it finally registered that he was gone, I leaned back against the wall, watching the flames creep closer and knew that I wouldn't make it out alive.  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
[And touching you makes me die inside] 


	2. In Dreams

Title: Hell In Your Eyes 2/?  
  
Rating: R-still  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing..very sad  
  
Distribution: If you want it, e-mail me and you can have it...not as your own but you know to put up on a website or   
  
something like that o.O  
  
Summary: Dreams and thoughts...ha  
  
Author's Notes: Lyrics are from H.I.M.'s 'Join Me In Death'. Very kick ass song. I recommend everyone to go download it. Right  
  
now...at this moment....go  
  
Reviewers: I love you guys Lol. Even if there are only 3 of you. I still love you. You've inspired me to make this a series.  
  
Or at least a couple of more chapters Lol.  
  
xInuyashaxAngelx: Doesn't everyone? -insert evil grin here- Lol. You never know. Wait and see  
  
Gemini: He makes an art out of it doesn't he?  
  
arianamissy: ty very much. I aim to please  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
~_~_~In Dreams~_~_~  
  
I used to think that I could escape the reality that is my life by dreaming. As of lately, I'm beginning to find out that I was probably just lying to myself to make everything all right. It's been a week now since the catwalk incident. That's what I refer to it as. I can't bring myself to believe that he's...well gone. I was almost getting used to the fact that it wasn't   
  
Angel anymore. Yet there was still some lingering part inside of me that wanted to believe it was. Or at least that we could get him back but I know that's not going to happen now.  
  
After I killed him, I managed to straighten my clothing so I would at least look somewhat presentable when they found my body. At the time I didn't really think that my body was going to be burned to a crisp but it's the small things right?   
  
I had accepted that I was going to die and no one was going to come for me when I heard his voice. Giles. He had followed me to the factory but couldn't find a way in until now. I heard him calling for me and for some reason I answered. I didn't want to but I did. Maybe there was a part of me wanted to live. I'm still not sure.  
  
He had found a ladder against a while and climbed up to where I was at. Noticing the dust pile next to me, and the stake that was being held in a death grip, he chose not to say anything. Instead, he held up his handkerchief to my face, to protect my eyes and mouth from the smoke and picked me up in his arms.  
  
The drive back to his house was silent. Both of us were thinking of our loved ones and what could have been but never would be. While I sat on his couch, Giles busied himself with finding blankets and an old pair of pajamas for me. The crime scene in his bedroom had been cleaned up but I noticed that he didn't go anywhere near it.  
  
Baby join me in death  
  
Baby join me in death  
  
Baby join me in death  
  
Which brings us back to now. Giles had called my mom, explaining the situation and of course she agreed to me staying over. He was asleep in the spare bedroom and I've been laying on the couch staring up at the ceiling. I'm afraid to go to sleep. Afraid of what I will dream. And yet, I feel my eyes closing, almost against my will.  
  
The dream comes fast but it's blurry around the edges. You know how dreams are. You don't really realize you're dreaming for more than half of it, but when you do, it's like everything becomes clearer.   
  
It's one of those first-person dreams and I'm almost glad that it is. It's kind of weird watching yourself do stuff. I glance down at myself and see that I'm wearing this white silky dress. It's almost like the one I was wearing when I had the dream about Drusilla killing Angel. I've never owned anything like this much less seen anything like that and yet I'm wearing it.  
  
"I don't it." The sound of my voice startles me and I can almost feel myself slipping out of the dream. I cling to it though because I want to know if it's something prophetic or not.  
  
"You're not supposed to." A voice from behind me answers my question. "It's not your dream."  
  
I don't want to turn around. I'm afraid to look. This isn't happening. I feel myself shaking my head and I realize that I'm holding my head and shaking it back and forth. My hands cover my ears and I'm whispering something but what?  
  
"No. No. No. No. This isn't happening. No."  
  
We are so young  
  
Our lives have just begun  
  
But already we're considering  
  
Escape from this world  
  
I feel his hands cover my hands and he pulls them away from my ears. Pinning my own arms against my body, he puts his chin on my shoulder, his head leaning against mine.  
  
"You know you will never be rid of me lover."  
  
"Why?" I whisper. I almost wonder if I'm talking out loud in my sleep.  
  
"Because we're connected." I feel his hand over my heart and I wonder if that's what he means. Connected by our hearts? What the hell is that supposed to mean?  
  
"What-" He cuts me off, placing his hands on my shoulders and firmly turning me around. My eyes are shut because I don't want to see what he looks like. What if he's deformed or something equally bad?  
  
"Buffy look at me."  
  
I shake my head.  
  
"Buffy." I open my eyes and there he is. Perfect in every way. And still wearing the same outfit I saw him in last.  
  
"What do you want from me? Why can't you leave me alone?"  
  
His grip becomes tighter on my shoulders. "You loved him." He spats that word out at me.   
  
And we've waited for so long  
  
For this moment to come  
  
We're so anxious to be together  
  
Together in death  
  
"I felt that love when I was trapped inside of him. Felt it and hated it. You made me...him..feel human and I am not human. I will never be human. I am a soul-less demon. I do not feel love." He emphasized each word with a little shake.  
  
"You think just because you killed me that you got rid of me. Let me tell you something, you will never be rid of me. I will follow you wherever you go. In your dreams and out of them. You will know what hell is like."  
  
I close my eyes. Not believing this. It's just a dream. Dreams don't mean anything.  
  
His grip slackens and all of the sudden it becomes soothing. Like he's rubbing my shoulders. Wait a minute. He is rubbing my shoulders.  
  
"What are you doing?" I open my eyes and stare at him. I almost expected him to grow horns.  
  
Angelus stares at me for a moment. His brown eyes empty. Empty except for one thing and I know that I'm just imagining that I'm seeing something else in his eyes.  
  
He doesn't answer me but continues to rub my shoulders. But he's not really rubbing my shoulders. My dress ties at the shoulders and when I glance at one shoulder, I see that he's pulling the tie loose.   
  
"Please don't do this."  
  
"why not. It's just a dream. It doesn't mean anything. Just like on the catwalk."  
  
The dress comes un-tied and pools around my feet. Of course, I'd have to be naked wouldn't I? His arms circle my waist and I'm pulled up against him.  
  
Would you die tonight for love  
  
Baby join me in death  
  
Would you die  
  
Baby join me in death  
  
Would you die tonight for love  
  
Baby join me in death  
  
The silk of his shirt and the leather of his pants cool off my heated body. I feel things tighten and soon, I feel hot again. I bury my face against his chest and I feel his mouth against my neck.   
  
"You know, it's okay if you want to. Dreams don't mean anything." His tongue brushes against my neck and I moan. Out loud.  
  
The moan makes me aware of my surrounds. A stiff couch. Soft blankets. Couch? There isn't a couch around me. I'm standing, with Angelus. No wait...I'm not. I'm in Giles' apartment. As soon as I realize that, I'm suddenly awake and sitting up. Giles is sitting next to me on the floor.   
  
"Are you alright? You sounded distressed." Giles is still in the clothes he was in yesterday. I know that it's the day after because the clock on the wall says it's almost five a.m.   
  
I take slow deep breaths. I want to tell him about the dream but then I don't. He'll analyze it...and then not good. I didn't want to think anymore.   
  
"Was it him?" Giles doesn't look angry when he asks this. All I can do is nod.  
  
"I was dreaming of her. That's why I'm awake."  
  
"Oh god. Giles. I'm so sorry. I didn't say anything and-" He held up his hand.  
  
"It's...okay. You were...I didn't even thank you. Although I'm not sure if that's the right way to phrase that."  
  
I smile at him. Even at times like these, he's still proper and I'm glad I can count on that. "It's okay. I know what you mean."  
  
"I...I was thinking of going after him myself. In fact, I almost did but Joyce called me and told me you had gone after him yourself. What that did to you….I'll never know what it feels like." He took a deep breath. "I know I'm not your father but I feel as if you're my daughter and if you ever need anything."  
  
"I know Giles. Thanks." He gives me a brief smile and nods. We sit there in silence for a few minutes before he gets up and tells me he's going to go my the school to let them know what happened.   
  
This world is a cruel place  
  
And we're here only to lose  
  
So before life tears us apart let  
  
Death bless me with you  
  
I lay back down and try not to close my eyes. I've only had about three hours of sleep yet now I definitely afraid to fall back asleep. I should listen to my instincts more often and not ignore them. I hear the front door open and then close and know that I am now   
  
alone in the apartment. The room is lightening up a little bit and I can tell that sunrise is not far off. Lived to see another......  
  
Wouldyou die tonight for love  
  
Baby join me in death  
  
Would you die  
  
Baby join me in death  
  
Won't you die tonight for love  
  
Baby join me in death  
  
The front door opens and I figured he forgot something. I don't hear it close and that causes me to open up my eyes and prop myself up. The door is open, no one standing there. Frowning, I get up and peek outside, and seeing no one, I shrug and shut it. When I turn back to my make-shift bed, I stop. Something silky is laid across the blankets.   
  
I open my mouth, to say something to myself and think better. What if someone is in the house? It wouldn't do me any good to stand there and talk to myself.   
  
I slowly walk over to the couch. Trying to be quiet in case something is there. I stare down and try not to gasp. The object in front of me is silky and white. Like the dress from my dreams...but, wait a minute. It can't be. Can it?  
  
I reach out with a shaky hand and pick it up. It was folded neatly but from the way I picked it up, it came unfolded and dropped in front of me. It was the dress. The same exact fucking dress. How?  
  
"No. Not possible. There is no way." I whisper to myself.  
  
This life ain't worth living  
  
This life ain't worth living  
  
This life ain't worth living  
  
This life ain't worth living  
  
"Are you sure lover?"  
  
Would you die tonight for love  
  
Baby join me in death  
  
Would you die  
  
Baby join me in death  
  
Would you die tonight for love  
  
Baby join me in death  
  
I turn around...not wanting to but I do. And I scream.  
  
Baby join me in death  
  
A/N: Dun dun dunnnn 


End file.
